Gap toothed geek

Tomorrow, it will be one week since I had the gap between my teeth filled in. My gums and the roof of my mouth are finally starting to feel better. (They were shredded in the filling in process and that is apparently normal. I kind of wish my dentist would have told me beforehand it would happen. I don't think it would have stopped me from having it done, but I would have been a little better prepared for the aftermath.) They don't feel great, just better. I'm still hesitant to bite into food with my front teeth because it hurts the gums. I know it will get better, I just wish it would happen sooner. Hurry up, stupid gums.

I'm still not totally used to the feeling of no gap. I lived with one for about 25 years. So, I would imagine it's going to take a while to adjust. I had a mini panic attack last Thursday when I realized I had done something that's basically irreversible. I'm pretty much stuck with it for the rest of my life. Yikes. Also, I was feeling really weird about doing something purely for the sake of vanity. The gap wasn't causing me any problems. Other than looking goofy and irritating me whenever I looked in the mirror. I think I'm over that now, but I do still get a little shock whenever I look in the mirror now. I guess that's better than being annoyed.

I love

This boy. I am where I am today because I decided that I MUST marry him. He didn't have any choice in the matter. I made him do it. I'm so thankful for him and I love him so very much.

Magic

Cameron told me this morning that he wished he had magic powers. I told him I thought that would be pretty cool too. He said, "you don't need magic powers because you would probably only use them to do good." I said, "well, what the heck would you use them for? To do evil?" He said, "ummm....no. What I would want to be able to do is if I was downstairs in the family room and was hungry, I would want to be able to wish for some food and have it appear on my lap. Then I wouldn't have to go all the way upstairs to get something. That would be awesome." I said, "you're right. That would be totally awesome."

Pants on the ground

I've been working out pretty regularly (5-6 times a week) since December. (I sure hope I stick with it for the rest of my life. I also hope that Betty Crocker doesn't throw me off again.) I've been watching and recording everything I eat too. It's beginning to pay off.

I decided to perform a little test last week and tried on a pair of pants I haven't fit in for a while. They not only fit, they were loose. Like, falling off loose. It gave me a very nice feeling indeed. I may still look like the Michelin man, but at least I do on a slightly smaller scale.

Alright already

Today, Costco finally talked me into upgrading to an Executive membership.

I checked to see how much I spent during the year when I renewed back in November. The total: $4,700. I didn't think it was possible until I did the math. $4,700 divided by 12 months is $391.66. I know that at least $100 of that is gas. So, it's entirely possible I'm spending $291 a month on food and a few other various things. What can I say? I'm easily seduced by bulk items.

I didn't rush right back to upgrade. I have a stick it to the man attitude and I don't know why, but I felt like I was sticking it to Costco by not doing it. I wasn't going to upgrade just because they said I should. I held out for a couple more months. Until today, because...oh, I don't know. I guess I finally got curious enough to see if I actually do spend enough to earn the refund. So, game on Costco. Game on.

Delusional

I've been trying to tell myself for the past few years (since after Peyton was born) that I really don't look that different than I did before I had kids. Yes, I have the mom muffin top, (which is shrinking again thanks to my renewed exercise program and calorie counting) but I kind of thought that was it. Wrong. So very wrong.

I was looking at old pictures last night and finally saw and acknowledged the truth. I look nothing like I did before I had kids. I'm lumpy and roly-poly and squishy and gross. Like, everywhere. Picture the Michelin man and you should get an idea of what I look like. I don't even look anything like I did after having just one or two. It's crazy how fast and how much my body has changed. (Then there's Ryan who has been the size he is now since he was 15. And he'll probably stay that size for most of his life. Jerk. It's a good thing I love him.) It depressed me for about 30 seconds and then it motivated me to try harder. I think I'm going to hang up (in my bedroom, out of public view) pictures of my pre-kid self and pictures of me now. I know that I will never look exactly the way I did before, but I'm going to try to get as close as I can. I don't want to be lumpy for the rest of my life.

Decade

Today Tyler is 10 years old.

Happy Birthday Tyler! I love you very much. Even when you're a turd. ☺