I've been trying to tell myself for the past few years (since after Peyton was born) that I really don't look that different than I did before I had kids. Yes, I have the mom muffin top, (which is shrinking again thanks to my renewed exercise program and calorie counting) but I kind of thought that was it. Wrong. So very wrong.
I was looking at old pictures last night and finally saw and acknowledged the truth. I look nothing like I did before I had kids. I'm lumpy and roly-poly and squishy and gross. Like, everywhere. Picture the Michelin man and you should get an idea of what I look like. I don't even look anything like I did after having just one or two. It's crazy how fast and how much my body has changed. (Then there's Ryan who has been the size he is now since he was 15. And he'll probably stay that size for most of his life. Jerk. It's a good thing I love him.) It depressed me for about 30 seconds and then it motivated me to try harder. I think I'm going to hang up (in my bedroom, out of public view) pictures of my pre-kid self and pictures of me now. I know that I will never look exactly the way I did before, but I'm going to try to get as close as I can. I don't want to be lumpy for the rest of my life.